 Once upon a time, after dinner had been cleared away, households all around the country used to fall silent as children gathered around the fire to listen to folktales recounted by their parents or grandparents. This custom was the general practice for many generations of Lao families. The older generation used storytelling as a means of educating their children in the ways of developing a sense of values and morals. Most of us would agree that the family unit has considerable influence over children, and it is within the family that their fundamental learning takes place. So it is important that parents spend time with their children and advise them on the best path to follow in life. In the past, the older generation had ingenious ways of educating their children. They would try to insert their advice during storytelling, aiming to instill a sense of correct behaviour in their young ones. A healthy relationship existed within the family, with children holding their elders in great respect. The younger generation always bowed to their authority and accepted their wisdom and this relationship was an inherent part of Lao culture. Family teaching is oral, requiring time for conversation and constant repetition of advice and encouragement. In addition to talking about the rights and wrongs of life, parents should take care that they themselves are putting into practice the examples they are laying down for their children to follow. It is also important that parents stay close by their children and spend a lot of time with them, because when a child is close to its parents it is more contented and it also enables parents and children to understand each other better. In addition, it provides an environment more conducive to giving advice to children and helping them solve their problems. Nowadays, it is more important than ever that parents devote more time to their children. In the current climate of rapid economic development and growing competition, there is a disturbing change in family values as people's lifestyles are being shaped and dictated by economic demands. Not so long ago, elderly people played a significant part in the nurturing and development of young children, but now their roles are being reduced, while children are playing an increasingly active part in family life. The single factor that dominates family life these days is money. In days gone by, good manners were uppermost in a Lao family's estimation, but society and culture are now feeling the effects of change. Many undesirable social behaviours have developed, such as drug problems, drunkenness and dangerous motorcycle riding. As a result of all these distractions and temptations, parents now have an increased responsibility for their children. It is more important than ever that parents stay in touch with them and try to educate them about lifestyle choices and the decisions to make. It should also not be forgotten that the best way to encourage children to obey their parents and follow their advice is for parents to practise what they preach. Today, mothers and fathers have no time for their children. They are content to give them money whenever they ask for it without trying to explain the value of money to their children. Very often, parents have no idea what their children are spending the money on. Furthermore, many parents feel their children's education is the responsibility of schools alone, believing that the payment of school fees will ensure their children's proper development. But, in fact, children want constant reassurance that their parents care about them. These days it is rare that parents take their children out for a day of fun together, unless it is a special occasion such as children's day or a birthday. But children need to spend time with their parents and go out with them as often as possible, not just on one or two days a year. The trend of teenagers spending large amounts of time outside the family home is on the increase now that parents have less time to be with their children because of added work commitments. Nowadays more and more teenagers prefer to take advice from their friends rather than their parents, because they spend most of their time with their friends. Also with the advent of TV, most family members spend their evenings unable to take their eyes off the screen. This is a further deterrent to conversation and communication. It is up to parents to strengthen their relationship with children by creating activities they can do together or at least by talking to them and sharing personal experiences or telling them a story at bedtime. Teaching through the telling of folktales and historical events and discussing the deeds of national heroes and famous people is something that parents should consider in their attempts to teach their offspring good manners and to instill a sense of importance of the family unit. |
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